Dealing with various changes

First, I mentioned earlier that T left for what we assume will turn into 4 months. This is a long time, especially home alone with 2 toddlers, 4 dogs, etc. I don’t think we’ve been apart for longer than a month since we met back in 1997 (wow). Various trips, weekends away, occasionally the week long dog show, but rarely more than 10 hours pass when we don’t see each other. It’s intimidating to do this alone, to think about doing this alone for the next 3.5 months. I know women who chose to parent alone, and those that didn’t chose but circumstances have made them single parents. I am in awe of their patience and, let’s just be honest, that their kids are still alive, thriving even. Come 7pm I would really love to check out. It’s that 6:30-8pm slot that I would gladly pass on to someone else. We’ve all had it with each other, and bed time can’t come soon enough for any of us. I would really like to insert something fun into this chunk of time, something to get us through without yelling and tears.

We moved. Our house was small and the walls were creeping ever closer. It was time, but still, change is hard. Moving sucks some serious hairy balls, but it’s done and now the unpacking is all that’s left. The owner of our previous house seemed wonderful, up to the moment we declared (how dare we!!) that we were leaving. We gave double the required notice. He still turned into a monster and only money would appease him. T just wanted to be Done with him, and gave in, and the man literally got away with double the amount of money he was owed. We returned his house to Better than it was when we moved in, and yet he just.wouldn’t.stop. with the nitpicking. We repainted every surface of the house, but not the ceilings, as those had not been painted prior to us moving in, and I thought the line needed to be drawn. He insisted on us paying for someone else to do this. We paid a cleaning company to come in before we moved in and he Insisted that we have one come when we were done, at our expense. The one piece of carpet, running from the basement to the ground floor, had a few stains on it from before we moved in. With dogs and toddlers, I didn’t insist it be perfect. He, however insisted that it be replaced, at our expense. Zero things were considered “normal wear and tear”. ZERO. We paid for the lawn to be re-done where the dog kennel had been, even though upon moving in he told us exactly where it would be OK to put it. I could go on for pages and pages and pages of this nonsense. It’s done, over with, and out of our lives. All because we didn’t want to buy his tiny house with its miniscule kitchen. Unbelievable how much he got away with. Can you tell I’m still not over this??

On a happier note: OUR NEW HOUSE!! I adore it. I especially adore its location on a Horse Farm. It’s still unreal to me that I get to look out of the huge kitchen (hah, seriously, the previous kitchen was tiny. Gally-esque) and see horses. Baby horses even. It’s amazing. The house itself is large and charming. The barns are a few steps away. The dogs are so happy. Of course I’ve found something to be unhappy about with this situation, but there’s not much I can do about it until T comes home. It’s kind of like living in this very nice fish bowl where all the things you want to play with and touch are just on the other side of the glass. The boys are not allowed in the barns (I know, it’s not safe around large draft horses) and this means I can’t be there either, unless I hire a babysitter or T is home. Not.Cool.

P’s daughter came for a week long visit from France. I haven’t seen her since her mother died, but she seemed to really be doing OK. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but she’s coping. She looks so much like P, and her mannerisms are so similar they literally stopped me in my tracks. I had to leave the room so she wouldn’t see me cry after she made a facial expression that IS her mother. You’re missing it!! How can you not be here for this?? I can’t imagine how hard it was for her girls to live with their mom as sick as she was, and I dislike even thinking the word “relief” when it comes to her being gone, but there you have it.


I get to wake up and right outside my back door, is this guy. How awesome is that?!?



1 Comment

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One response to “Dealing with various changes

  1. spottedimages

    Love that you are writing again. I have missed it 🙂 It helps to get it out…. and seriously if you ever need to talk….

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