Finding the motivation

This daily struggle to find the energy to do something, anything, for just me, is getting to be just down right defeating. Getting out of the house for a 15 minute walk is like moving a mountain. Sure, I could probably pack up the kids and push the stroller, but have you ever tried to dress two active boys in snow and wind gear, and then had to undress the recently potty trained toddler, only to have to redress and drag them both out the door? Then come the cries for juice and snacks for the walk…and demands that we bring a dog along… and on and on, and by the time I actually get to the end of the driveway, it’s someone’s nap time, or I have to pee, or a million other things go south. Whine, much? But it sucks. It truly does. I get a lot more out of 15 minutes by myself than an hour of this struggle, both in calories burned and a much needed break.

My Fitbit arrived in the mail today, sparking some interest and motivation to take more steps, even around the house. I love how it syncs to my food tracker on my phone and really gets down to the minute on calories burned.

I signed up for a 12 week nutrition course in Portsmouth called Chose Your Weight, or something like that. It was very reasonable ($150 for 12 weeks!) and each class is something new, plus I can use their gym for free. This coming week is a session with their metabolism finding machine, which usually costs $100 by itself, so I’m excited to see what’s going on in there.

I have to start somewhere.

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Something New

Day 6- When is the last time you did something new?

This morning I took B to Story Time at the library. I don’t know why we haven’t done this before, probably a combination of shyness (on my part) nap schedules (on his part) and a general lack of motivation. I think I was expecting a small group of people that would welcome us in with wide open arms, a kind of homecoming because I LOVE the library in general, and of course I thought that I’d come away with 10 new best friends. None of this happened.

We arrived on time and followed the crowd of toddler toting moms into a large room that was packed with people. There were large numbers of volunteer pre-teen girls hanging around the edges of the room and two librarians ready to get the party started. We plopped down on a square of rug and within minutes the music and dancing began. At story time? It so much more than that! There were songs, books, songs and books together, dancing, and craft time at the end!

He really just wanted to drink the paint water, and then he spilled it all over the floor. Being the responsible mother that I am, I allowed this to happen so I could photograph it.

So that was our new adventure of the day. No new friends yet, but hey, it’s a start.

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Summer Camp, Day 5 Birthday Wishes

DAY5:  What do you prefer to do on your birthday?

Ah, July, it’s my birthday month! I prefer my birthday fall on a Friday or Saturday EVERY year, but that doesn’t happen, of course. I like it to be an automatic day off for most! I love parties and presents and truth be told, I adore my birthday. Years ago, I decided that on my birthday, I’d go to a zoo. A different one each year. Best Zoo Trip? Cairo, Egypt, in 2001. Next Best? The National Zoo in DC a few years ago, although it was SO hot and all the animals hid inside their caves or holes. I envied them their shade, it was so freakin hot.

This year I was already told what I’m getting. LAME. The extended warranty for my iPad. So exciting. What I really want, and ask for every year, is a PONY. I have yet to get this pony.

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Summer Camp, Day 4 Being an Adult

Day 4– What has most surprised you about being an adult? What have you learned about yourself through blogging?

Surprises about being an adult? For a while I think I was waiting for my life to begin and for too many years kept waiting for things to get going, not realizing that life was happening RIGHT NOW. Good, bad, ugly, this was it, I was in the middle of it and that really and truly, decisions I was making were really impacting how things were going to happen in the future.
Hearing the word “no” about something I really wanted was something that took some getting used to. Not that I was spoiled in any way, I heard the word “no” plenty of times, but never about something that I needed or was willing to work for. The concept that some doors were just shut, surprised me.
I was very sheltered from bad things and bad people, and learning that these things- existed in large quantities in the world outside my tiny bubble shocked the hell out of me.  No one died, no one was sick, no one was homeless or scared, and it was a rude awakening, this big bad world.

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Summer Camp, Day 3

Day 3 -What are your guilty pleasures?

Ooooh. Ones that I indulge in, or ones that I don’t? Or can it be a pleasure if you’ve never enjoyed it?

  1. Vampire novels/tv/trashy books/movies. I love this shit. TrueBlood? I’ve been reading Charlaine Harris for YEARS. She’s no Ann Rice, and Ann is alright.
  2. My iPad. I’m in love with it and have no business spending any time with it. I just can’t help loving it.
  3. Yard Sales. I am a Yard Sale addict and I get up really early on Saturdays in the summer to be the first one, or close to it, ready to find useless crap that I don’t need and don’t have room for.

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Summer Camp, Day 2

Day 2-What were you like in high school? What extracurricular activities, if any, did you take part in during high school? Did you consider yourself a writer?

Oh, High School. Well, I never thought of myself as popular, in any way, shape or form, but looking back, I was well known and that’s a sort of popularity I guess. I am tall, very tall. My life revolved around schoolwork and basketball. I was taller than 95% of the people in the school at 6’2″, most of the boys hadn’t really had their final growth spurt, and I was uncomfortable in my own skin when I wasn’t on the court.

I was in mostly honors classes, and that group of kids weren’t really sure what to make of me, this jock that quietly out-scored them on tests. The jocks didn’t know what to make of me, either, when I was part of the German Club and played clarinet in the concert band, I just didn’t fit in with either group and longed to in the worst way. I had few close friends and it was probably for the best because I was never around to do anything fun or go out, I was always at practice or at the gym, or nose deep in a book. My parents never worried about me because they always knew where I was. My dad drove me an hour each way to AAU practice when it wasn’t high school basketball season and when we got home at 9pm, I’d shower, study and sleep.

I made the varsity bball team as a freshman and made more enemies than friends doing so. When I was a junior, I won the school science fair (having access to your dad’s biochemical lab is a real edge) and went on to place third in the state. Again, more enemies than friends. Later that year, I led our basketball team to a state championship. I was the state free-throw champ. My senior year I signed a full basketball scholarship with a university.

I mostly remember desperately wanting to be liked, but never really succeeding. Probably because I wanted it SO badly, my eagerness was off-putting, most likely. I was painfully shy around almost all boys, and had braces until I was midway through my senior year, 6 years in all. I realize now, most people were probably intimidated by me, but all I wanted to be was liked. Ah well.

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Summer Bloggy Camp! DAY 1

I said I’d give a good try and participate in Day Camp, and here I am! Woo!


Day One Activity:  Provide a photo or sketch or dramatic rendering of the space where you normally blog.

Not very exciting, but I usually blog or do internet stuffs at my coffee table while the wild blur streaks past in the background.

Why Yes, that IS Creating Motherhood up on the screen!

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